dang
Dear Diary, i must apologize for not writing for the last days, i just needed a day for resting (which actually is a pure lie, as just yesterday alone i slept only for some four hours). I guess resting from my own thaughts was the real issue. At least avoiding them to be seen in any written form. Because, well maybe they weren't the right thaugts and i myself wasn't sure about what was going inside of my sometimes simple mind. Okay, let's skip the lies, actually my mind was the one who was searching for some reasonable explanation in my own unexplainable reaction to facts or circumstances. Not as i wrote in one of the latter posts - i wasn't looking for my mind - my mind was criticising the soul. Or maybe it was the other way around? I guess i am going slightly mad again. Confusion, will by my epitaph, as i crawl a cracked and broken path. Said the man and the band - disbanded. How fucking unfortunate. It's kind of hard for me now actually - how many of you (?) are going to read this crap anyhow - it's in mortherfuckin' english for Christ's sake. Which stupid retard writes his own so-to-be-called diary in english anyway. For practice ? Fuck practice. Got enough of that already. Cause i like to show-off ? Fuck you too! I guess i'm in kind of a not-too-nice-to-be-argued-with mood today. You know what ? I think feelings suck. People look like pathetic loosers, and lose their minds in a minute - as soon as they notice someone worth noticing. Aren't they predictable ? If i was the one who once believed in true love - now i think that this so-called love occurs too often to be believed. Look at everyone! They still are holding the hand of one, and at the same time looking at somebody else. Time changes, everything changes - fucking screw that! I think if true love exists, then only in the minds of true dreamers, the fantasies of who are soaring high above everything we can even imagine. They are loosers too - people who can live in only one state of mind are pathetic. Adaptation is the keyword. Adaptation, without ever loosing your true self and your true beliefs. Okay i lied again today. I do believe that it exists. Yes, love's out there alright. Somewhere. And one day i'm gonna catch it, and beat it in the head. And then i'm gonna eat it. Raw. Your madman